An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down.

He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old-timer? Never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peac**k. I was just wondering if you were my son.