IMPORTANT!!! You must read it to the very end. MONEY.... It can buy a House But not a Home It can buy a Bed But not Sleep It can buy a Clock But not Time It can buy a Book But not Knowledge It can buy a Position But not Respect It can buy Medicine But not Health It can buy Blood But not Life It can buy Sex But not Love Money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering.. So send me all your money and I will suffer for you. I ACCEPT CASH, MONEY ORDERS, PERSONAL CHEQUES, CASHIERS CHEQUES, BAGS OF GOLD, BARS OF PLATINUM, ETC.

PLEASE: NO CHILDREN AS PAYMENTS.

THEY WILL BE RETURNED.