Grandpa Jones turned up at Madame Betty's house a little after midnight drunk and raring to go.

"I want the girl with the biggest tits and the tightest p***y you got!" he yelled as he tripped on the carpet and landed on a potted fern. Madame Betty liked the fern and hated old drunks smashing her place. "Shut your trap, you old fool, and get the fck out of my fern!" Screamed the madam. "Fern, shmern, bring on the biggest tits and the tightest p***y you got! I'm a spending man!" "All Right, Fool, you've had it now!" roared Madame Betty.

"Oh, I have? have I!" giggled Grandpa Jones, "Well, in that case how much do I owe you?"