Might have seen this before, but with "Valentine's Day" on the way I thought this was timely. Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze.

Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man, To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, My life is complete Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.

Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, We go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day From the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive, " I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever, " they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, More useful than diamonds.....

IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!