1. A lawyer phoned the governor's mansion shortly after midnight.

"I need to talk to the govenor, it's an emergency!" exclaimed the lawyer.

After some cajoling, the governor's aide eventually agreed to wake him up. "So, what is it that's so important that it can't wait until morning?" grumbled the governor.

"Judge Brown just died, and I want to take his place, " pleaded the attorney.

"Well, its Ok with me if its Ok with the mortuary, " came the reply. 2. A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's senior partner had passed away unexpectedly.

"Is Mr. Smith there?", asked the client on the phone. "I'm very sorry, " the receptionist answered, "but Mr.

Smith passed away last night." "Is Mr.

Smith there?", repeated the client. The receptionist was perplexed. "Perhaps you didn't understand me, I'm afraid Mr. Smith passed away last night." "Is Mr.

Smith there?", the client again asked.

"Ma'am, do you understand what I'm saying?", said the exasperated receptionist, "Mr. Smith is DEAD!" "Oh I understand you perfectly, " said the client, "I just can't hear it often enough.

" 3. A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer, wanting to start a conversation with the gentleman next to him, said "I'm here 'cause my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire.

The insurance company paid for everything.

" "That's quite a coincidence, " said the engineer, "I'm here 'cause my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer pondered the engineer's plight for a moment and, looking somewhat confused, asked, "How do you start a flood?" 4.

Your attorney and your EX are trapped in a burning building.

You only have time to save one of them. Do you: 1 have lunch?, or 2 go to a movie?