Friends, be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die, just in case.

The following is so typical of today's ridiculousnesses my own word. A lady died in January, and her credit card company billed her in February for its annual service charge. When the bill wasn't paid, it added late fees and interest. January's balance was zero, and by April it was somewhere around 60. A family member placed a call to the company: Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January." Credit card company CCC: "The account was never closed, therefore the late fees and charges still apply." Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections." CCC: "Since it is two months past due, that has already been done." Family Member: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?" CCC: "Either report her account to the fraud division or report her to the credit bureau ... maybe both!" Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" CCC: "Excuse me?" Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you ...

the part about her being dead?" CCC: "Sir, I'm afraid you're going to have to speak to my supervisor." Supervisor gets on the phone.

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, that Mrs.

So-and-so died in January." Supervisor: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.

" Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?" Supervisor stammering a bit: "Are, are, are you her lawyer?" Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." Lawyer info given just in case. Supervisor: "Will you please fax us a certificate of death?" Family Member: "Sure." Fax number is given. After the fax is received.. Supervisor: "Our system just isn't setup for deceased individuals. I don't know what more I can do to help." Family Member: "Well, if you can figure it out, great! If not, I suppose you could just keep billing her.

I really don't think she will care." Supervisor: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply." Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?" Supervisor: "That might help.

" Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.

" Supervisor: "Sir, that's a cemetery!" Family Member: "Right! So what do you do with dead people where you live?"