A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in the copy room at the office. The brunette looks to the corner of a room and notices a glob of semen on the wall. She says, "That looks like cum on the wall!" The redhead walks over, and touches the semen on the wall with the tip of her finger. "It feels like cum, too!" The blonde walks over, touches it, and taps the tip of her tongue with it. "It's definitely cum, but it's not from any of the guys here!" A guy was fishing out on a lake when he realizes he's late for work. He gets to his car, packs everything away in a hurry, and flies away. As he's crossing a bridge at 80 MPH, a cop is hiding at the end with a radar gun, and pulls the man over.

The cop walks up to the car and says, "license and registration please." He hands them over. "Sir, why were you driving 40 miles over the speed limit?" "Officer, please don't give me a ticket, I'm late for my work." "And just what do you do for a living?" "I'm a rectum stretcher." "Wait a minute, what? What exactly do you do?" "Well, first, I get a finger in there.

Then add another, and another, until I have all five in there. Then I start working my other hand in there. Then I start pulling the a*****e apart, and I stretch and stretch and stretch until the person's a*****e is 6 feet wide!" "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot a*****e?" "You give him a radar gun and stick him at the end of a bridge."