A rich man and a poor man were sitting in a bar late one night. They were talking about different things and then the poor man asked the rich man what he bought his wife for her birthday. "I got her a brand new Mercedes Benz and a 24-karat diamond ring," says the rich man. The poor man, a bit puzzled, asked, "Why the hell did you get her both?" The rich man replied, "I got her both so if she doesn't like the ring, she can drive her new car back to the jeweler's to exchange it.

So... What did YOU buy for YOUR wife?" The poor man said, "I bought her a pair of flip-flops and a dildo." Obviously confused, the rich man asked why he chose those items.

The poor man replied, "Because if she doesn't like the flip-flops, she can go f**k herself!" Bigger Breasts A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buysher a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years, " he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?" The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?"